


Walking the path of pain and recuperation.

by SassyCassie1401



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-06
Updated: 2015-08-11
Packaged: 2018-04-13 08:15:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4514583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SassyCassie1401/pseuds/SassyCassie1401
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The world of Shield is attempting to right itself and its one on one with the Inhumans. May has been doing some healing and returned to find Phil Coulson in pieces. She now knows that is both the hand and heart that needs to recuperate, now is she the woman to help him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lmartin4194](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lmartin4194/gifts).



> thank you @lmartin4194 for my prompt and to @mandylou67 for being my inspiration and guide. <3

The return and commotion.

The world of Shield was in utter chaos and attempting to rebuild the foundations of what once the mighty name stood. Skye was reeling over what her mother had attempted to do , what once was the short familiar foundation that she had found with Jiaying and Cal was ripped away when her mother showed the true colours against Shield. The Agents were still searching for Jemma, the last they saw of her was when Fitz left her near the substance in the glass box and disappeared as she was dragged into the box with no trace. 

Everyone was trying to deal in their own way and for once May had decided to leave the base and try some recuperation of her own. She knew that Coulson was under evaluation and would soon be released needing all the love, friendship and comfort that their little family gave each other.  
She knew that this was when she needed to go back and would try to be the crutch and close friend that they were before all this mess had begun. She had gone to a retreat, one that not even Shield in their better days even knew about. The only person that would find her would be her mother and that would be for emergencies only.

She followed the old ways of her people and the traditions that her mother had taught her as a young girl to centre herself and find the strength that she needed to start the long and rocky path that they all were about to embark on. She knew that Mack had done only what he needed to do in order to save Coulson's life. It had spread up his arm faster than wildfire and they all knew it would have consumed his life had mack not reacted the way that did. However, she knew that Mack felt guilty for what he had done ever since the alien being had taken over his body and his anger had broken free. Mack was a gentle and compassionate man who used the strength that he had to protect his beliefs and the family that he cared about but the alien had changed him all together. He carried his guilt and shame like cape on his back even though he knew what he had done was for protection and preservation but still he used as a defence to the rest of the world.

May knew this and knew she had more than one wounded soul with which needed healing but first and foremost she needed to find Coulson knowing that this day was a hard one. She was driving in the black SUV along the back roads, thinking and planning about things that she would have to do once she got back to the Shield facility. May was thinking about Andrew and knew that this was a path she didn't want to take, her heart lay with Coulson and she knew that. They tried for a few weeks but knew where true heart laid and so did Andrew, he had encouraged her to go follow her heart no matter where it may lead. They had always been there for each other through the thick and thin, no matter how far apart they were they always managed to find one another their hearts singing a song that only they could hear in the whole world.

May pulled up in the underground car park, the car shimmering as stealth was placed to ensure no one had followed her. She walked up the steps and towards the doors and that is when all the commotion had erupted and gained her attention.

She walked through the door and into the Shield facilities reception and that is when she heard shouting and someone was screaming obscenities , there were being thrown about like a baseball on the field. May started to increase into a gentle run dodgy the bodies as she went up the corridor knowing the route like the back of her hand. She knew that voice as though it was singing her name a thousand times over to her heart, a tune that she would answer all the days of her life. She followed the voice her heart racing a thousand beats per minute , sweat running down her face and breath growing shallow as each second passed. She turned the corridor and watch as the keypad recognised her DNA in a split second, she rushed through the door and ducked just in time to see the objects speeding towards her. 

Years upon years of training had her reflexes tuned like a fine piano responding to a split second change in the air, she dropped back into the crab position avoiding the objects that smashed against the wall shattering above her head obliterating dust and fragments into the air. She was up on her feet as fast as she had dropped and launched at the body that was throwing the objects and sending fear in his wake. 

She grabbed him and they grappled as he struggled to break free, the pain and anger raw ,plain for the world to see and hear in the roar of his voice. He dropped to the floor taking her with him and was wrapped in the arms of the safest and most loyal he had ever known throughout his whole life. His head rested on her chest listening to the pounding heart rate , as the tears rolled down his face releasing pain and confusion for something gained and lost. He held the mechanical hand that had been specially made to suit his needs and adjust to his every whim. 

He stared at it , the pain raw and disbelief written in his body language at the fact that he no longer had a hand that was his own but a machine that had been put in its place. May could feel the grief and her heart broke into a million pieces, no further down could he go and no more could her take. She would build him up in her own way , one piece at a time.


	2. The argument and the make up.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He is angry, scared and unsure. He considers himself broken and not worthy for Melinda May but is he the only one that is broken? Can hearts be healed with time and treatment?

She couldn't bare it, her heart was breaking into a million pieces at the sight before her eyes. He was letting free the sounds of heart wrenching sobs as the stress poured from his body. She wasn't going to let him go but kept her heart rate steady and attempted to get him to do the same. She rubbed her hand up and down his back the way that you would soothe a child, 

“I am here Phil, its alright. I got you and i wont let you fall i promise.”

He shot up and began to pace.

She had no idea what she had said or done to cause this change but he turned and she saw anger flash across his face and show sorrow in this eyes. She went to stroke the side of his face but he batted it away causing her to stumble back like she had been slapped. Never had he done anything like this to her before and she was torn.

“Don't touch me may, I don't want to hurt you and I want you to leave.” He threw a glass across the room and it shattered against the wall, his anger rising on his face and written in his eyes. He turned his back on her and was going to the other side of the room to put as much distance as possible between them. She couldn't bare it and begun to follow ready to comfort the man that she loved but was stopped when she heard the venomous tone;

“Don’t bother Melinda and please leave NOW.”

“Phil, please tell me what is going on. I don't understand. what have I done?”

Phil looked at her and the emotions were playing on his face , an internal war was raging within him and the pain was there for everyone to see but if he didn't tell Melinda what was going on how could she help him? She would give anything to help no price was too big to pay.

“I don't want you touching someone broken and tainted as me. You deserve so much better in a boss, friend and lover. I think you should leave now and go and start your life with Andrew. I am not good for you and will just bring you down” He begun to walk towards the door and opened it to walk away from her and out of her life for good. 

The door was only a few inches a jar when an almighty kick slammed it shut and the force echoed through the room. Phil was turned and slammed against the door his back bouncing against the handle but when he looked up , he saw the raging fury that was Melinda May. He thought that was doing the right thing but apparently from the look on her face he had made a grave mistake and was about to pay for it dearly.

“ BROKEN , BROKEN !!! You want to talk to me about broken. Where do you want me to start? How about the elephant in the room? Bahrain? - What happened then? Oh yeah I went on shut down and went to shut out the world. My marriage broke down, a career change for a desk job and no more line of fire for me….. Where were you through all of this ? oh yeah that was right, doing everything in your power to get through to me. Did you give in? No, you persisted and years later here I am back in a team and Shield family who I think of as my own. So dont you dare talk to me about being broken and don't you ever tell me to leave you again. is that clear? or your hand wont be the only thing that needs to be fixed.”

After her tirade she was flushed and oh so angry but as beautiful as he had ever seen her. She walked towards him running her hand down the side of his face. She looked him square in the eyes and poured all the hope, love and trust that she could in the look as she said the next words to him.

“I love you with all my heart. I am not going to leave you when things get tough, what kind of a person would that make me? Through the darkest and down trotted times in my life you have been the guiding light, the beacon that has brought me home when I felt so lost at see. You knew what to say or what not to say and when to be the calming presence. Why, when it is a new chapter of your life and something different or strange is happening would I lever leave you?   
Let me be your rock, I know you are angry and think you are broken but you’re not, and even if you are lets be broken together okay?” 

Throughout the entire speech she had not moved from in-front of him, she moved her hand down from his face following the lean planes of his body and shirt until she got to the thing he dreaded the most at this time. She felt him stiffen and the muscles in his jaw tense trying to hide all the emotions that were crossing his face like a flicker book showing a story. 

“It is not broken okay? just updated and we will get through this together, one day at a time. You're beautiful all of you and it doesn't make one difference to me that you have one real and one artificial arm just makes you mine that is all.” She was looking up at him with a smile and love her in eyes whilst was massaging where the new arm met the scarring of the old one , it was a weird sensation to him but knew it had all the love and trust that it would ever hold. He knew what she was doing and he didn't think that he could love her anymore than he does but today is a new high.

“We will walk on this together. okay? no time like the present eh Phil?”

He looked at her fear written on his face at the prospect, but knew with the touch on his arm that there was no where on earth that he would be safer. He looked at the door as Jemma and a Shield doctor came through and placed sheets on the table. He looked at them and saw they were exercises, techniques and coping mechanisms for him to start doing. 

The doctor began checking stitches and scarring for no infection and turned his hand palm side up and started showing him the exercises that would strengthening his arm and fuse the appendage to his body. He was frightened after his outburst as he didn't want to hurt May but he felt that even if he did that they could walk this path together. She was right by his side rubbing small circles on the bottom of his back , calming yet reassuring that she would always be there. He was hurting but he knew that as long as they were together the pain would heal and stronger they would always become.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Mushu for being a fab beta and @Mandylou67 for being my inspiration. <3


	3. The old , the new and a happy ending for two.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone seems to be on the mend and Shield is growing back to the force that it was known for, ready to help all and protect everthing. However, Phil still has demons at night to fight with, who will help? Will there be a happy ending after all?

The end and the beginning.

Weeks had passed and Shield was becoming the unit that it was once renowned and feared for. The new base was slowly having the final cosmetics put in place and the new bus was something that only May had ever dreamed off but it was still hers and everyone new that.

May had just come back from her morning Tai Chi when most of the world was still asleep. She went to her room first as the thing that was between was still knew and yes she was being selfish but she wanted to keep it to themselves a little bit longer before the twenty questions begun.

She has just got dressed when she passed each room in turn checking that they were all asleep and nothing was wrong when a loud shout broke her from her trance. She raced towards his room , she knew that voice anywhere even if she was deaf her heart would know in a second that something was wrong. 

She burst through the door and followed the sounds into the room , what she saw before her broke her heart. The bedroom looked like a war zone , objects scattered across the floor, bed in complete tatters and Phil trapped in the sheets using both his arms to try and break free but something in his dream was preventing him from waking up. How on earth that the war zone had started she would never know but she needed to bring him back and see what was wrong before anything else was destroyed.

She gently got onto the bed beside him and started to stroke down his face, whispering sweet words that came from her heart hoping that it would reach it and bring back out of the dark dream that he was in. 

Phil I know you can hear me so please listen to me. Come home to me , whatever is happening come home. You belong here with me, please wake up. Remember what you once told me? Love isn't something that you find , it is something that finds you. Now come on home to me.

She continued to stroke his face and watched as the thrashing subsided and he slowly became still and she kept stroking his face and planting kisses across his brow. Slowly he stilled and flickered his eyes open as he became accustomed to the light of the morning. The first thing that he saw was the comforting and loving presence of the woman he loved, he slowly kept breathing in and out willing his heart to return to normal. Not that it didn't race when she was near but he knew the cause this time was nothing to do with her. She just continued to watch him and be the comforting presence , his anchor and his reason for living and adjusting to the new bits that life had to offer.

“Hey,” She said whilst stroking down his face, that loving smile speaking from her eyes.

He didnt realise how lucky he had become until today and he was willing to face whatever was thrown at him as long as she was by his side but would she ever take the leap that he had taken months ago.

“Hey gorgeous. Was I making too much noise?”

“You were dreaming and rather badly… want to talk?” She didn't press him but he knew that she would be there when he was ready with open arms and an open heart.

“Apparently it is your last session with Jemma today and if all goes well you and your hand will be fine. Hows does it feel?”

“A little stiff today but i think the dream didn't help, i think if i keep doing the exercises it'll be fine. You going to come with me today or meet me after?”

“I will meet you after if thats okay Phil, got a few test runs on the new bus to do before I can clear it for use.” 

Phil left May tinkering away in the bus and headed down to Jemma, he saw Mack along the way and watched as the man put his head down for the umpteenth time since the arm incident had occurred and he had enough if it. Phil walked up and waited whilst Mack continued to stare at the floor. 

** COUGH COUGH **

Phil coughed rather loudly and deliberately knowing that Mack could not ignore him,

“ Oh good you can look me in the eye after all. What is the matter with you?” Phil had that steely look in his eye that made him a fearful leader put a ferocious protector who got what he wanted when he demanded it.

“I never said I am sorry….”

“Oh Mack Is that it? “ Phil put his hands, real and artificial on Mack's shoulders and looked in square in the eye.

“You my friend have nothing to be sorry for, if it wasn't for you I would not be here today. So please believe me when I say how grateful and honoured I am to have you as a friend and there is nothing to be sorry about, so lift the weight from your shoulders and come back to the team with me. Okay?” 

Mack looked him in the eye and sagged with relief, Phil could physically see the weight that he had been unnecessarily carrying and they turned to walk together towards Jemma. She could see the two men through the doors and her heart soured to see them two finally going back to what was before.

The doors parted “Right lets give you a final check over.”

Mack went to May knowing that he needed to bring her here for the final piece of the puzzle to come together.

May was in the cock pit adjusting all the controls to how she would be having them when it had its initial flight when she heard the thudding of heavy feet. She lifted her head in time to see a panting Mack bent at the door and immediately knew that something was wrong.

“What is it Mack? Is it Phil?”

“Something has gone wrong with the hand and Phil is in there with Jemma whilst she is trying to fix it but he does not look good.”

With that she took off down the halls like her hell was nipping at her heels, she knew the layout like the back of her hand and would get there in seconds.

She burst through the doors and saw Phil sagging on the stool and Jemma tending to his arm where the artificial hand was. Jemma moved away pretending to look at some tests and May went to Phil not taking note of any of the danger that she could be in.

“Phil baby whats wrong?” secrecy be damned.

“Phil talk to me.”

“Something has gone wrong with my hand and it may not work. I cant open it on my own. Will you help me?”

She grabbed the artificial hand and opened it slowly but surely, a loud gasp could be heard around the room. There in his hand was Chopard Blue diamond ring in princess cut surrounded by white gold and glimmering in the light of the room.

She looked up and had tears in her eyes, Jemma was openly in tears and waited with baited breath to see what was going to happen.

“Will you …..”

He didnt get chance to say much else as she flung her arms around his neck and pressed kisses across his face whilst whispering “Yes” repeatedly.

They knew they had come a long way since the inhumans’ and knew they had some way to go but with relationships building and new technology being made they knew they had some way to go but what a journey it would be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to @lmartin4194 for being a fab person and great beta and to @mandylou67 for being my inspiration and guide <3 <3 <3


End file.
